Uberazzi - Celebrity gossip, scandals, rumors

The 2008 Emmys are the talk of the town today but I'm not expecting anything more than another boring awards show.

I think the real story today is how the extremely untalented Lindsay Lohan was just tapped as a judge for the next season of Project Runaway. Frankly, I never see anyone in Hollywood dressed worse than Lindsay so she'll fit right in on Project Runway.

This is a really big deal for Lindsay because her movie career is bombing and her ability to attract a decent man has come and gone. She seems to have settled for this Sam Ronson dude. He's some DJ twerp who lets himself get dragged around from fashion week to fashion week.

Personally, I think this Ronson guy has checked his balls at the door just so he could bang the skanky little red head. I'd probably do the same thing for a hot chick, but he's done it for Lindsay Lohan.

Sam Ronson has turned this little tabloid star into a boring well behaved non story and it is not doing anybody any good.

Hopefully Lindsay will stir up some trouble on Project Runaway and rip the headlines away from contrived little publicity stunts like the emmy awards.

Good luck judging people who sew Ali Lohan's Sister!

Congratulations are in order for the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department for arresting the father son crime duo of Ryan and Redmond O'Neal.

It's hard to believe that a couple of Drug addicts would have a house full of Meth, but hats off to the fuzz for cracking this case. I feel bad for Redmond. Don't you think that once his mom and dad noticed the flaming red hair on his scalp they could have called him something else? Maybe something like Rusty or MAD Magazine Kid?

No wonder Junior is a Meth freak.

I'm really not so concerned for the O'Neal clan because they appear to be a normal loving family. The Domestic Violence, Drunkin Rages, Drug Use, and Bad Parenting just sound bad. They were never really a big deal.

What I really want to know is why the cops are actually following up with people on probation. I mean, since they already caught these guys a few times isn't it like shooting fish in a barrel. Where the sport in screwing around with the Ryan O'Neal and his fire baby. Did the Sherriff's department ever have any reason to believe that the O'Neal pad wasn't a drug depot?

Maybe it's time to go after some new bad guys. Nobody even cared about this week's GQ article where Megan Fox said  since she got instant fame she has to take Xanax to prove she has substance.  People only noticed that she played kissy face with a stripper. 

I don't really know how Xanax proves you have substance but I think Pete Wentz Does.  The Fall Out Boy star said he suffers from such anxiety whenever he's in public places, he has to pop Xanax pills to avoid freaking out.

Well that's nice to hear, since the next day he also announced that he has to carefully balance his sleeping pills because if he takes too much or doesn't fall asleep right away, he hallucinates. He says he almost set his house on fire a few months back.

What ever happened to people actually having to deal with a little stress or a little stage fright in their lives. Should I go home and tell the "little nasty" to pop a Xanax the next time his teacher calls him to the board?

Let's pay some attention to the next generation of drug addicts before Megan Fox is robbing pharmacies and leave the old timers like O'Neal to rot in their mansions in peace.  I'm gonna be so pissed if I'm at Mr Chow and Pete Wentz is at the next table in the middle of one of his fire starter hallucinations.

So I have two words for Megan and Pete: Heath Ledger!

Britney Spears is back in the news for breaking a record which I assumed she never lost. The 2009 Guinness Book Of World Records claims she is The Most Searched Person on The Internet.

This no shock to me. What is kind of shocking is how Guinness arrives at such a fact. Last Year's Most Searched Person was Paris Hilton. Even though she may have not been a serious news maker, people still search for her adult videos and the countless topless photos of Paris.

So Guinness does a little research and is able to arrive at some of the interesting ways people attempt to find Britney Spears on the internet. It turns out that phrases containing the words Britney and Spears are added together and the sum total of all the search requests make her "The Most Searched Person on The Internet"

I was a little freaked out to see that approximately 6,600 people per month are searching Google for information about Britneys Feet, and nearly 2,000 are looking for ways to smell them!

That's some pretty crazy stuff. I get emails all the time asking me to write about Britney Spears and her feet. I always thought they were just pranks, but today is the day I give them what they want. 

Britney Spears Smelly Feet!!!!

Here is a strange tribute to Britney's Feet

Matt Damon is stupid enough to do some good these days. I am very happy he has gone to Haiti to point out that they need some help because of the recent hurricanes.  Now, he needs to stay there and quit talking about that Sarah Palin idiot . I hate when stars tell people who to vote for.

Unfortunately for every American, we have no choice but to vote for the McCain/Palin ticket. You can thank the idiot Democratic Leadership for nominating Obama.  I love Barack Obama but he cannot be our President. Here is the problem. Because of his past associations and even his relationship with that stupid Rev. Jeremiah Wright liked to roll with, Obama could not even qualify for a low level job with the FBI, CIA, or ATF. The moron couldn’t even get a job with the Secret Service to be his own bodyguard.  He used a lot of bad judgment in the past, so, how the hell can anyone think it’s a good idea to have this guy as our President. The best bad candidate out there was Hilary Clinton and now we are stuck with McCain.

At least we know that when they pull off McCain’s pants in some torture chamber in Iran, he won’t give up our launch codes. Who knows who’s gonna pulling Obama’s  strings. As I am only an expert in Britney’s crotch, I am going to have to trust those who have created the strict hiring standards of our nations most security sensitive positions.

I would rather put up with four more years of crap than four years of chaos. Let’s all pray that some Palin porn comes out before the election so McCain can find a better Gilligan.

So listen Matt Damon, thanks for going to Haiti. But, by now, you are probably in the way down there. So come home and shut your pie hole before your pea brain starts costing good movie roles.

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 CNN's Nancy Grace is ruining the Caylee Anthony Case.

It's 911 and the world is a bit pissed. The vibe on the streets today is negative and I am all riled up. I checked in on the news last night to get the latest and heard this pig called Nancy Grace badgering some attorneys about the Caylee Anthony case.

This is a really sad event. A little girl is missing and presumed dead. Orlando, Florida law enforcement is on the case but there is a lynch mob out there and it is headed up by this Nancy Grace chick.

Grace, a former bad prosecutor, uses her show to literally jam her fat face into any case she wants and put the whole thing in jeopardy. She turns the pain of real people into Jerry Springer episodes and seems to undermine entire investigations.

Not too long ago, the mother of a missing child, Melinda Duckett, committed suicide following an intense grilling by Grace. She also jumped all over the innocent Duke Lacrosse team like they were a group of little Hitlers.

I mean who the F@#* is this idiot?  How can anyone out there get a fair trial with this moron blasting the attorney's, Law Enforcement, and People of Interest in these cases.

She is one angry mess who needs to spend a little time on her own life!

This year the Video Music Awards were three hours of complete suck. The show was an infomercial for Get Rhapsody and the inevitable Britney Spears comeback.

However, host Russell Brand was one line short of brilliant. If he could have laid off the Obama endorsement he would have had me at hello. That guy is a super talent, which made up for the complete lack entertainment value provided by the Rhinestone studded line up of musical guests.

I have to be fair and acknowledge LL Cool J, Rihanna's huge thighs, and Pink's Nipple tape as possible exceptions. I was also a bit put off by Lil Wayne holding onto his crank during his "I need a belt" performance.

The show was too far gone for Brand to save it. Even the coolness of Kid Rock, the presence of Kobie Bryant and Michael Phelps, or professed virginity of The Jonas Brothers were not enough to make it worthy of being jammed between the Get Rhapsody commercials.

There were a few fireworks in the after show interviews like when the not so fat Perez Hilton vowed to duke it out on his website with "sex addict" Brand in defense of The Jonas Brothers and their promise rings.

I can't wait til Next Year!    VMA Photo Galleries

Watch Russell Brand on Leno leading up to the big day.